2011, You Were Good To Me, Now I'm Ready for 2012

2011. You were good to me. You gave me plenty of good memories, offered me challenges, filled my life with laughter and joy. You did well, 2011, and I thank you for that.

The year 2011 was filled with work. I began it with a marathon 24/7 on duty service, celebrating the very begin of it by answering to the phone calls of troubled Finnish citizen in Thailand. Suited the begin of the year well, I probably spent the best part of the year by working as a consular officer for the Finnish embassy in Bangkok. It was a demanding job but I enjoyed the challenges. Thanks to some very great colleagues, coming to work in the mornings was mostly a pleasure.

Still, it was the life outside of work that made my life in Bangkok so lovely. I loved my life in Bangkok, I loved Bangkok. I can't ever remember not being happy about being in Bangkok, in the city where life is lived on the streets, every moment filled with new sights, smells, joys and wonders. I felt so alive, every moment in Bangkok.

There was my pineapple man, cutting the perfect pineapples to perfect pieces for me to enjoy. Smiling that perfect smile of his. The som tum boy, preparing my portion just the way I love it, knowing I want the tasty sticky rice, always smiling with his entire face. Every lunch hour was an excitement thanks to the veggie stall with it's mussaman curry and other delicacies, it's staff knowing I want my dishes hot (I think they had that microwave just for me). My mouth is watering when I think of sticky rice with mango...

After all that eating, I was grateful for California wow which became like a second home to me. Noom's spinnings on Wednesdays being the highlight of the week! Spinning just isn't the same elsewhere (sure I still do it). Never before (or after) has it mattered to me who the instructor of the course is - but in California wow I had my favorites and stuck to their schedules. Sundays were my day off from California wow - because Sundays were reserved for playing Badminton. In a hall, which was so hot that we would go outside to cool down.

Yes, 2011 was a year of sports. I started playing tennis again (I had missed wearing a tennis skort!). It was a year for diving as well. I finished a wreck specialist course, then became a rescue diver. I explored the wrecks near Pattaya with the guys from Mermaids dive school, who were so great that I could almost forget the fact that I had to travel to P...P...Pattaya for this fun. I spent some lovely holidays too, diving in various sites in Thailand, Malaysia and later in the Philippines. I had booked a trip to Bali as well, but had to give up on that since just before the planned trip I made the move from Bangkok to Manila.

It was a year of some lovely traveling, even when not diving. Cambodia was an especially great experience, Malaysia and Singapore interesting as well. I had a great time in Germany and Finland in the spring, visiting friends and family. Always missed, always loved. No matter the physical distance. But I wasn't always the one traveling, the one visiting. It was great to have my brother and his wife and mother-in-law in my beloved Bangkok, showing them around. It makes a difference, when I can share my life with loved ones. Therefore I am grateful for all the friends and family members who came over to see and experience my everyday life.

A lot can change in a year, 2011 making no exceptions. One good friend got married, another one became a mother. I did what I seem to do pretty much every year - move, get a new job. Before that, I achieved my goal in learning Thai - I learned to read well enough to understand where the buses are going (the buses long gone once I had understood what I read, that's how slow I am, but nonetheless). I also went from being 20 something to beginning the 30 something years. 2011 gave me many new friends, and deepened old ones. With one there being this realization that we must be Thai-Finnish twin sisters, for our connection is something special.

It was a year of big feelings. It was filled with some terrible natural catastrophes, of which some I experienced close by, earning the nick name "crisis spotter". Catastrophes and crisis followed each other, spreading around the world. Some meaning a hope for a better future, like in some Arab countries. It was also a year of big losses, some countries losing their beloved heros, one losing a less heroic leader. The financial crisis brought changes also to Finnish politics, some of which I'm not at all happy with. I hope in the future people learn to think less short-sighed in what's good for them and realize in a bigger context what's for the best for all of us.

At least during the uncertain times, the Finnish Lions finally, after a long long wait, won the World Championship in Ice Hockey. Big feelings, that will carry on among the Finns, in a way a non-Finn can hardly understand. It is good for everyone to have something in life, where one can safely channel all different feelings to. Frustrations and anger, and through that gain great excitements.

It was a year of big feelings to me. living and loving. Leaving my life in Bangkok behind was not easy but I did it and have already experienced a lot in my new home country the Philippines. Big changes, big feelings and that's what makes life worth living.

All in all, it was a great year due to the people. I love my family, already a lot and everyday still a bit more. And my friends. With people like my friends around, the world seems a pretty awesome place. There is a place in my heart for each one of them, no matter where in the world they are. But the ones in Bangkok, they truly made the year 2011 a spectacular one. They were there to smile with, to laugh with, to kid around, to get drunk, not forgetting sports - and to eat until we felt like exploding - and still continuing with the deserts. They were there to share life with, in all its aspects, when you feel low or are bursting with happiness. Friends.

2011 offered me big feelings, and I was happy to feel them. Most of 2011 I lived and loved in Bangkok, now it's time to wrap it up in Manila. I continue to live and continue to love, everything and anything that life brings in front of me. It's time to say thank you to 2011, you were good to me. I'm ready for 2012!

Something on My Mind

There is something on my mind. Actually a lot, pretty much all the time.

Things, thoughts, feelings. Yes, even feelings. Technically I'm not sure if that's the right way to put it as I guess feelings are supposed to be something one, well, feels. But for me feelings are something very holistic, present in my body and in my heart and my mind. Present. I sense them, I feel them and I think them. Sometimes analyzing but often letting them be, letting them be felt.

I'm used to thinking of myself as a rational person. I want to get a grip on things, I feel a need to understand everything. I don't let emotions rule.

I do let my emotions free, though, no mistakes there. I mean, I tend to cry when the Finnish ice-hockey team loses a game. I weep when they lose in the finals (has happened often). Mind you, over the years I've broken several pieces of furniture over the course of an ice-hockey game.

And it's not only about ice-hockey. No, baby I was born this way. In my childhood I said goodbye to our house when I left it for longer than a day. I kept hugging my favorite tree in order to prevent it from being cut down (well, it was cut down later when I was at school, believing it was already agreed to be saved). Oh, and I wrote a goodbye note, saying how sorry I was and how much I had loved them and that I would never forget them - to a pair of old socks I had to throw away. Green, knitted, pretty pair of socks. I kept my promise, I have never forgotten them.

Since then, in between and after all those events I could find a couple of more examples of me being emotional. Yet on the other hand, I tend to look at the emotional moments and the feelings quite rationally. I regard them as an elixir of my life. My reason to live.

Feelings and emotions, they make life worth living. I go easily from one extreme to another, feeling, observing, analyzing - living, at the same time. I'm addicted to new feelings. Maybe that's why I feel this urge to keep moving (rather literally). In this world, there is always something going on. And what's going on is interesting to me. I value everything new I can learn, what I see, touch, smell. The world is a never ending source of wonders.

What I'm trying to do is to stay open. For whatever happens, for whatever the world has to offer. When I can keep my heart, my mind and soul open, I can feel something bubbling inside me. There is no one word to describe it but ´happiness´comes close. I observe, I feel, I sense, I treasure, I think - I live.

Everything Is Better In Bangkok?

I have now been living in Manila, the Philippines for a month. It's been a busy and interesting month which I've divided between work, making friends and establishing routines. Mostly it feels as if I'd been here for much longer.

Maybe I have. Before me moving from Bangkok to Manila had been made official, during one class my Thai teacher showed me a test online where it can be checked who you were in your previous life. If the test is any reliable, I've returned to my previous home country. I used to be a powerful and rich Filipino in the past. Male - which surprises me even less.

Perhaps it's thanks to my previous life that I've adjusted quickly to living in Manila. But can it explain why there is this one phrase that is stuck inside my head? It is meant as no offense to Manila, even less so for the Philippines but feels more like a mere notion. Everything is better in Bangkok.

I have met great people, made friends, enjoy the new challenges at work, am living a comfortable and interesting life in Manila. I can't really complain about anything, feel no need to say or think anything negative about Manila. Life is good, I'm happy, enjoying the experience. But I don't need time to golden my memories regarding Bangkok.

My first notion in Manila was that it seems so empty and quiet. There are no people or food stalls on the sidewalks. People sit calmly in the cars. Traffic jams offer familiar sights and honking of horns is almost music to my ears - but where are the mopotaxis? Non-existing, here the only option is to wait or walk.

The first proper cultural shock I experienced when I was searching for a pineapple man. Not only that I had to look for one but that I didn't find any! There was one guy selling raw mangos but that's it, no other fruits are available on the streets. The weekend markets and grocery stores sell fruits but get this - you've got to peel and cut the fruits yourself! And this in a country that employes people to open doors everywhere, serve you put shoes on in a store and lift your shopping bag on your shoulders. One doesn't really have to do anything here on one's own - other than peel the fruits.

The problem with fruits is all the more relevant because the food here is eatable at its best. Of course I knew everything is going to be a downgrade after Bangkok but the one thing I can find nothing positive to say about in Manila is food. Soaked in oil, lacking in taste (don't even dream of chilies), overpriced. The impact of the States here is apparent in many things but especially in the Filipino diet. There is no corner without a fast food restaurant but ever heard of healthy food? Veggies? The missing fruit service bottom lines my misery.

But since I had no expectations, I will forgive that. And since it seems to rain, like, all the time (everything is better in Bangkok) no one would stay outside selling fruits anyways - even in Bangkok not. And my colleague has stuffed the freezer at the office with Finnish rye bread so who am I to complain about anything?

Blame the holiday season? Whereas Thailand celebrates every and any ever invented holiday with a thrilling intensity, except for Christmas, the Philippines seem to concentrate mainly on Christmas. I remain hopeful that the never-ending playing of Christmas carols will not be never-ending and that the excessive decorations (States, even you can't compete) will be taken down sometime. Christmas would seem appropriate for Thais, as Buddhists love peace and quiet. But the catholic Philippines has taken the holiday to a new level. Never could I even have imagined how many different versions of Jingle Bells it is possible to make (nor would I have cared to find out). Have to admit though, it's puts a smile to my face to see Santa Claus wannabes and reindeer and sleigh decorations in the +30 C heat. Still, and this might be just me, the Christmas spirit avoids me.

I've understood that the charisma that Metro Manila lacks can be found elsewhere in the city and country. So far I haven't had the time to go explore the country (but very much look forward to) and have been lacking the courage needed for the adventures the remoter parts of Manila could and would offer. That will later make another story.

Interesting, how a city itself can evoke emotions and at its best give thrills and joys. I never got bored with Bangkok, never stopped admiring it's little wonders. Same with Berlin before that. And Leipzig, San Antonio and Turku. Same same but different. Not only the people and experiences but the cities were something special. Perhaps it's easier to fall in love with a new, exotic place that has the scents of an adventure in the air. Nothing new gets taken as granted, unlike places born into. Perhaps before born in Pori I was born in Manila. And therefore in all their familiarity they don't make my heart beat faster?

I love Bangkok, just the way it is. The heat and humidity, the smells and noises, the crowded streets, it's polluted but honest air of being what it is, sincere and genuine. I've saved the memories in a special place in my heart. Now it's time to give Manila and Philippines their chance!