What is it that makes one's life special? What's life about?
In my "exceptional" life, as a friend put it, I came home from work, read a book for a while, cooked dinner and watched a movie. Pfuu, interesting? Maybe not but it was still an evening filled with many different emotions, mostly positive. That's interesting to me. The feelings, how suddenly different feelings just pop up, come and go put leave you wondering. Emotions are interesting.
I've been reading Dostoevski's The Idiot. A very exceptionally good book, it's kept hold on me over these past days. How would it be if we all were like the idiot - speaking "from the heart rather than the head"?
Maybe it wouldn't be much worth, as I don't believe in people being in general as "positively good" from the nature as Dostoevskys idiot is. But if we were able to trust, to like, to think well of others, to forgive without even being asked to and just to be kind, wouldn't that make also one's own life more enjoyable? For isn't it really for the little things that makes life so special?
I started watching a movie as I was preparing dinner. The dinner itself was fairly simple but to me exceptionally experimental - Tofu and pasta are no new ingredients to me but for the sauce I had decided to try thai red curry-paste. The most spicy sauce I've ever eaten, aua! Ought to have learned by now but no. Used the entire package without trying, clever. But even still, with my tongue burning I felt cruelly happy - probably since I was able to finish the dish and actually still even enjoy it's taste.
And then there was the movie. A very charismatic guy, pretty woman, romantic story, you know. Would have had no special impact on me, if it wasn't for the language and the city it took place at. Berlin, where else. No words can describe the warm feeling I had and have in my heart when watching those ahh so familiar and dear streets, u-bahn stops, tv-tower, buildings...and hearing german. There is something about Berlin and the German language. I doubt their ability to awaken these feelings inside me will ever fade away.
It's interesting how such unexceptional things like reading a book, cooking dinner or watching a movie can cause such strong feelings. I appreciate it that they can. I used to be afraid and ashamed of being emotional, showing emotions, but what really is so wrong about that? Isn't it worth being happy about being happy over some little things?
I don't know what life is about. Maybe there is no one right answer to that question. But what makes my life special and exceptional to me are the little things. Getting a message from a distant friend saying "miss you", keeping me smiling for the rest of the day. The pineapple man greeting me warmly as he recognizes me. The guard downstairs understanding me when I'm speaking thai to him. Listening to my favorite song from a friend's cd (who is now in Berlin, imagine!). Life mightn't be perfect but it is as it should be. I feel, therefore I live?
tiistai 15. kesäkuuta 2010
perjantai 4. kesäkuuta 2010
What's Left
"War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left" (Bertrand Russell). And What. I'm not suggesting the final clash between the reds and the army should be called war. That would be a little exaggerated. But Russell's thought describes it so well. The fighting between the reds and the troops determined what is left.
The demonstration had to be ended. The reds had been given many opportunities to stop the demo in peaceful manners. They had been been asked to free the district they had taken over. There were negotiations to find a solution. They had even been offered a compromise to settle the conflict. They showed no interest.
I always avoid taking sides and forming strict opinions if I don't have sufficient information of the different options and understanding of the background. What comes to Thai politics and society I am way too inexperienced to give any in-depth analysis of the crisis. Or of it's outcomes. I'm only reporting what I have experienced and how things seem to be. What comes to the red's demonstration, the reds blocking an intersection, an important business district for weeks after weeks and showing no will to put an end to that - what else can one expect but an end to be forced?
As I have said many times before and written here, the demonstration itself was not violent. In this sense them saying they are no terrorists but peaceful demonstrators wanting democracy was not incompatible with their doings. On the other hand, no peaceful demonstrators want to harm their fellow citizens and their country's well being in any way. And this demo harmed many, not directly the physical well-being but at least through the economical sufferings. And most importantly, no peaceful demonstrators who just want democracy gather a huge amount of weapons and prepare themselves for anything but a peaceful solution.
It seemed to come as a surprise as to what extents the reds, at least the extreme side of them, were willing to go. The government especially underestimated their frustration when force was used to end their demo. This frustration and anger led to terrorist-like acts, not to mere vandalism. The things destroyed, mainly buildings set in fire, were purposefully and strategically chosen.
Naturally in an outburst of fighting damage is caused to unintentional objects as well but in this case I observed very limited purposeful vandalism. The places that suffered the worst damages after the most intent fightings and especially outside of the main fighting terrain, were targeted for a reason. The Central World (rip) being the saddest example. How I wished the owner had been a supporter of the reds instead of the governing party...
Central World is in ruins but the life goes on. Streets are jammed with traffic again, Paragon-Mall has opened it's doors again and the clothes, shoes and accessories sold on the sidewalks are multi-colored again, not only picturing Thaksin on red background anymore.
It was incredible to observe how it took only a weekend with thousands of volunteers to get the city back to the normality. One weekend, and without the ruins of the Central World you wouldn't have a clue where the demo and (most of) the fightings took place. Stunning. The area had been blocked for almost 2 months, our office had been in evacuation for a month and me not able to return to home for a week and then just one weekend and it's all over. Suddenly life was back to normal again like nothing had ever happened. If it wasn't for the ruins to remind us.
Be aware though, this was not an end to a conflict or even to the conflict. The political disagreements have gone nowhere and neither have the frustration and anger. These is a gap, a division among the Thais. Very unfortunate, since all parties no matter what their color-code is, seem to want the same thing. Democracy. The differences, as usually, occur in the definition and in the means in achieving it. Realistic to say, it is quiet now but it won't stay that way for ever.
The demonstration had to be ended. The reds had been given many opportunities to stop the demo in peaceful manners. They had been been asked to free the district they had taken over. There were negotiations to find a solution. They had even been offered a compromise to settle the conflict. They showed no interest.
I always avoid taking sides and forming strict opinions if I don't have sufficient information of the different options and understanding of the background. What comes to Thai politics and society I am way too inexperienced to give any in-depth analysis of the crisis. Or of it's outcomes. I'm only reporting what I have experienced and how things seem to be. What comes to the red's demonstration, the reds blocking an intersection, an important business district for weeks after weeks and showing no will to put an end to that - what else can one expect but an end to be forced?
As I have said many times before and written here, the demonstration itself was not violent. In this sense them saying they are no terrorists but peaceful demonstrators wanting democracy was not incompatible with their doings. On the other hand, no peaceful demonstrators want to harm their fellow citizens and their country's well being in any way. And this demo harmed many, not directly the physical well-being but at least through the economical sufferings. And most importantly, no peaceful demonstrators who just want democracy gather a huge amount of weapons and prepare themselves for anything but a peaceful solution.
It seemed to come as a surprise as to what extents the reds, at least the extreme side of them, were willing to go. The government especially underestimated their frustration when force was used to end their demo. This frustration and anger led to terrorist-like acts, not to mere vandalism. The things destroyed, mainly buildings set in fire, were purposefully and strategically chosen.
Naturally in an outburst of fighting damage is caused to unintentional objects as well but in this case I observed very limited purposeful vandalism. The places that suffered the worst damages after the most intent fightings and especially outside of the main fighting terrain, were targeted for a reason. The Central World (rip) being the saddest example. How I wished the owner had been a supporter of the reds instead of the governing party...
Central World is in ruins but the life goes on. Streets are jammed with traffic again, Paragon-Mall has opened it's doors again and the clothes, shoes and accessories sold on the sidewalks are multi-colored again, not only picturing Thaksin on red background anymore.
It was incredible to observe how it took only a weekend with thousands of volunteers to get the city back to the normality. One weekend, and without the ruins of the Central World you wouldn't have a clue where the demo and (most of) the fightings took place. Stunning. The area had been blocked for almost 2 months, our office had been in evacuation for a month and me not able to return to home for a week and then just one weekend and it's all over. Suddenly life was back to normal again like nothing had ever happened. If it wasn't for the ruins to remind us.
Be aware though, this was not an end to a conflict or even to the conflict. The political disagreements have gone nowhere and neither have the frustration and anger. These is a gap, a division among the Thais. Very unfortunate, since all parties no matter what their color-code is, seem to want the same thing. Democracy. The differences, as usually, occur in the definition and in the means in achieving it. Realistic to say, it is quiet now but it won't stay that way for ever.
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